Monday, September 25, 2006

Southwest Airlines, I've had enough. Time to Rant.

BTW - Sorry, if this sounds as prickish as I think it's going to.

For years I've been saying what a terrible airline Southwest is, but I've finally had it. I'm never flying with horrible organization ever again. I'll be the first to admit, customer-service-wise, they're the best. If you need to get someone on the phone, it happens in under a minute. With the other airlines, it takes 15 or 20 minutes. So, I'll give them that.

I hate the fact that you don't get a seat. The whole A,B,C seating groups is a terrible idea. All this does, is it causes everyone to start lining up in their seating group lines, AN HOUR BEFORE THE FLIGHT. AN HOUR! I had a 8:10am flight, and the line for groups A & B were both 50 deep and hour before the flight! And what exactly is the reason everyone lines up so early? I'll tell you. You might think it's to get good aisle or window seats, and that is partially true. But to me it seems, the bigger issue is everyone bringing a TON of carry-on luggage. I'm not sure why people hate checking their bags so much, but this is such a huge annoyance to me. Really, checking your bags is a GREAT idea. It's just one less thing to worry about lugging around. In my entire life I've had the airport lose my luggage only one time, and they had the bag it my apartment in 12 hours.

Their prices are not that great. Everyone always freaks about what a great deal Southwest is. "There prices are soooo cheap!!!" Blah, blah, blah.... This really isn't the case. Unless you by your tickets waaaaayyyyyyyy in advance you're most likely OVERPAYING for your tickets. For instance, in two weeks I'm going to St. Louis. On Southwest the flight was going to cost me $185, on American $115. Sure, maybe if I purchased the flight 2 months early I would have got the mega cheap $80 round trip, but rarely does my life have that much forecasting.

The last thing I hate - which I just discovered - is that Southwest Airlines has no such thing as "Flying Standby." To repeat, they do NOT offer it. Of course, I found this out the hard way. This last weekend I was flying back from Nashville on an 11:30am flight. I figured if I was out all night drinking, I might as well just stay up and take the 8:10am flight with a friend instead of going to bed and struggling to get to the airport. Believe it or not, this actually worked, and we got to the airport about 7am. Well, while marveling at the already formed, HUGE line, I go to the check-in gate to get on the stand-by list. The attendant's answer? Oh, we don't offer stand-by, but you can buy a new ticket! Super! I thought she was joking. Of course she wasn't. She did offer to let me buy a new ticket with a discount for the amount I already paid. She says it'll only be 10 or 15 bucks. I figure what the heck. Well later, when the people on stand-by were cleared to fly, and I went to pay. The actual amount after fees and taxes, etc... was $85. $85 to fly stand-by on a flight with available seats!!! I just couldn't bring myself to pay it. So I had to wait an extra 3 hours, and 3 flights to get on the 11:35am flight. Did I mention that I hadn't slept since the previous day, and had been up all night drinking?

Stupid Southwest Airlines, as a child I was brain-washed into thinking you were the only airline that mattered. Now, you will NEVER again get a cent from me. I will never fly with your wretched company again. Oh, and as a side-note, the general problem of air travel, were people think it's okay to travel in their pajamas and/or sweatpants with a blanket is approximately 10 times worse on Southwest. People, have some dignity. Don't leave your house in anything that you would normally sleep in.

Oh! And their flight attendants (especially the male ones) look RIDICULOUS. Purple polo shirts with the stupid Southwest logo, and khaki, pleated, short-shorts are a TERRIBLE idea. Enough.

I just keep remembering all the awfulness. Perhaps one of the most annoyingly, unforgiveable things is they are CONSTANTLY trying to be so fucking cute. The flight attendants sing and make terrible jokes. Same with the captains. On one flight I had the damn attendant practically practicing his stand-up routine, and since we're sitting on an airplane we sort've a captive audience.

Please feel free to comment on how awful you think Southwest is.


JasonToo said...

dit-fucking-to. i fucking hate southwest more than you do, i bet. every time with their fucking "jokes" over the fucking loud speakers 2 inches from my attempting-to-sleep head. fuck!

Senor Juevos said...

If I had to choose one airline to hate, it's Southwest. Mainly because when i think of southwest i think of the state of Texas and they BOTH SUCK BALLS. Why can't i get a fucking seat like EVERY other airline bitches? F'n suck it. The only jokes on that plane are the employees. Plus, their seats are made for pre-depression era sized peeps.