Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Being broke sucks


Sometimes we just never learn. Here at The middleCoast we don't have too many indulgences. In fact really the only thing we regularly partake in to excess is drinking. We absolutely LOVE the sauce over here. For example, a bottle of whiskey will only last about 3 days in our offices (and that's just with this editor sipping on the sizzzurrrpp on weekdays). We probably buy too many books and comic books, but that's about it - and those are used books as well.

Regardless, we've decided to take some proactive measures to get the broke-monkey off our backs. To note, here are The middleCoast's 5 money saving methods going forward for the rest of the year and into perpetuity (had to look that one up).

1. Eliminating socks from our wardrobe. Save the cost up-front, as well as on laundry. Plus we get to tell people it's some Italian fashion-forward move. (Ed. note - I actually believe my dad has already done this move, as I honestly can't remember the last time I saw him NOT wearing boat shoes sans socks.)

2. Learning to SPAM. Here at The middleCoast's office in Wicker Park we get roughly 30 SPAM messages sent us a day. It's your typical mix of Viagra, stock, and other money scams, with the occasional replica watch ad, as well. OBVIOUSLY there must be tremendous potential here if people are still falling for this. Maybe back in '97 I would've have fallen for it, but it's '06 now. Does this still work? Clearly, the answer is an emphatic YES. (Ed. note - This is just a heads up to our readers and assorted friends/relatives/ex-girlfriends that read this blog. You will be receiving SPAM from me.)

3. Gambling on sports. We've never really done much in the way of gamling, but with the proliferation of on-line gamling sites it's easier than ever to get started. In fact, we're opening an office account tonight. We have vague memories of winning several football pools from our parent's office brackets as a 12 year old. If we were regularly winning as a 12 year old how could we do any worse as an adult? This has brilliant written all over it.

4. Participating in Happy Hours more frequently. Actually in Chicago there's a city law against having Happy Hours, i.e. you cannot have a drink special unless it lasts the entire day. What this means for us is that when the bar down the road is have $3 Maker's Mark drinks - we need to only drink those, and not back them up with a $5 Guiness. We already practice this to an extent, but going forward we will be much more dilligent.

5. Stop going to weddings. I'm definately speaking in the 'Royal We' for this tip, but in The middleCoast's experience these are getting prohibitively expensive. Being in that late-20's age range were everyone is getting married, these have started to stack up. At first, weddings were always something to get excited about due to their reputation as being a bastion of said late-20's hooking up. However, every year those in the Ms. Available end of the pool jump over to the Mrs. Taken side. We suppose things will pick up in our mid-30s once everyone starts divorcing, but in this respect the present is looking a bit bleak.

1 comment:

JasonToo said...

nicely done - you used "perpetuity" and "sans" within 2 paragraphs. bonus points.