Top 5 Band Names of Actual Bands Playing in Chicago Soon

As you loyal mC readers know, we love discussing band names. Like a first impression on a blind date, a band name subconsciously establishes a positive or negative connotation for the audience right off the bat. A great band name can bring in a crowd strictly on comedic curiosity (I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness), while a band with a poor name has to work that much harder to prove its worth (Chin Chin). So once again, we give props to the bands with the best names making their way through the Middle in the coming months:

5. Plastic People of the Universe @ The Hideout, 9/18 (and again as part of The Hideout Block Party, 9/20)

4. Urge Overkill (a classic, AND they're from Chicago) @ Bottom Lounge, 7/12

3. Thao With The Get Down Stay Down @ Empty Bottle, 8/9

2. Natalie Portman's Shaved Head @ Subterranean, 8/14

1. Dr. Acula* @ Reggie's Rock Club, 7/22

*Full disclosure: Dr. Acula not only made the list but jumped directly to numero uno because we were under the impression that the name is a direct reference to the '80s classic film, Monster Squad, in which Dracula is disguised as a friendly neighbor, Dr. Acula. However, our memory is for shit, and that may not actually be the case - it may have just been that the letters D-R-A-C-U-L-A were jumbled in some way to create a phony name, and then the kid has to descramble them to decipher the true persona. Nevertheless, since the band name made us think of the movie at all, it remains number one. In related Monster Squad news, you can buy the two-disc 20th anniversary edition on DVD for 15 bucks, or watch the whole thing in six-and- a-half minute chunks on YouTube for free. By the way, if you're really only interested in viewing the famous "Wolfman's got nards" scene, go straight to segment 9.

ANYWAY, numbers 2 and 3 on the list are really great up-and-coming acts. Here's a sampling:

Thao With The Get Down Stay Down, "Bag of Hammers"


Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, "Me + Yr Daughter"


-J2

The Monster Squad vs. Rad

Ok. Either you know these 2 movies very well, or you have no fucking clue what they are. Rad came out in 1986, and was about a teenaged BMX racer named Cru Jones who tries to qualify for ‘the big race’ on ‘Helltrack’. The Monster Squad came out in 1987 and was about a group of kids who discover that all of the movie monsters (Dracula, Wolf Man, Frankenstein, etc.) are real and are trying to end the world. By today’s standards these movies are seen as corny, ridiculous teen flicks. But, in the 80’s – Oh My God – they were the shit.

When my bro and I would do the weekend dad thing after our parents divorced, dad would always let us rent 7 (that’s right – 7) movies for the whole weekend, especially if the weather was nasty. Guess what 2 out of the 7 ALWAYS were? Jas and I were completely obsessed with these movies, doing such things as getting ‘BMX’ bikes, and trying to form our own monster squad. We knew all the words (in fact if I watched them today, it would all come back to me, I’m sure) and even held tape recorders up to the TV to record the songs and best one-liners from the movies. Some lines that come to mind:

“Wolf Man’s got nards!?”
“Check it out guys! Cru’s gonna try and qualify for Helltrack!”
“It’s Scary Old German Guy’s house”

or something like that. Anyway, it’s 20 years later, and these movies still have not made it to DVD. Why not? I haven’t done much research, but there has to be a cult following somewhere (or at least I could start one). One of the last e-mail exchanges I had with my brother was actually about the distress we both felt about not being able to buy these movies on DVD. Oh sure, we would e-mail each other links to buy Monster Squad or Rad shirts, or other merchandise, but of course that is not the same. I have found them on VHS on various sites for sale – but the lowest price I’ve seen is like $35.00. For 20 yr-old VCR tapes?! No thanks, I’ll wait for the DVD.

So, a great mystery to me is - which one will be put on DVD first? And which one would I want to see first? And how can I go about making sure that these fabulous movies get put on DVD? I think I would be slightly more excited about The Monster Squad, but I bet Jas would prefer Rad. Either way it will be a fine day when I can go to Best Buy and pick these up.