Upon Watching the Thriller Video Again: An Over-Analysis

So today is Halloween, and invariably BET just aired the classic music video for Michael Jackson's Thriller. I probably haven't seen this video in close to a decade (or at least, I haven't given it any real thought in that amount of time), and several things became evident during my latest viewing.

First of all, one must blatantly disregard the King of Pop's recent...shall we say...run-ins with the law, or else the video takes on an even creepier atmosphere.

Secondly, the surface level elements really stand the test of time, as they say. The classic horror film elements still work - it's friggin' scary. Being attacked by the undead (choreographed-dancing aside) is a highly unpleasant scenario, and the makers of the video truly do good work in costuming and make-up. Michael's zombie look is frightening, no doubt. However, if I were to pick between which I'd rather come across in a dark alley, I'd opt for Zombie Mike over his current incarnation:



Oh, and the song just so happens to be awesome. Let's not forget that. Granted, it's essentially a musical version of a horror movie. Not really sure which came first - the song or the video. But there is no denying it's inherent awesomeness. And honestly, the best videos ever made feature a Jackson (well, specifically Michael or Janet) leading a troupe of similarly dressed dancers in a mind-blowing routine. As proof, I offer this clip (full version here):




And from his sister (strangely, almost as disturbing a video):



Now that we have that out of the way, let's get a closer inspection of the Thriller video and breakdown the plot:

1) Michael and Girlfriend are presumably on a date, driving through a forest when the car seemingly runs out of gas. Girlfriend inevitably assumes Michael has planned this in order for them to be all alone together (keeping in mind, audiences in 1983 still believed Jackson to be a warm-blooded, hetero American male). Michael and Girlfriend start off on foot through the woods. Michael stops Girlfriend mid-stride to ask her to "be my girl", offering up a ring. He proceeds to tell her he's "not like other guys" (stop snickering). The light of the full moon then appears, and transforms Michael into a rather cat-like werewolf, and he begins chasing Girlfriend through the wilderness. Just as Werewolf-Michael is about to strike helpless Girlfriend, enter Twist #1:

2) Cut to: Michael and Girlfriend presumably on a date, watching a movie called "Thriller" featuring Michael and Girlfriend in the scene described above. Girlfriend is clearly scared of the movie, gripping onto Michael while he munches away on his popcorn, entertained by the flick. Neither acknowledges that either a) the two of them were the stars of the film they are watching; or b) they look remarkably similar to the actors portraying Michael and Girlfriend in the film they are watching. Whether due to the content of the movie or the thought of Option B, Girlfriend is too frightened to watch any further and gets up to leave the theater, with a frustrated Michael following behind her.

3) Cue the music. The familiar electric bassline sets the pace for Michael and Girlfriend to walk through the eerie streets of Random Urban City, USA. Michael taunts Girlfriend through song as they walk, which she apparently enjoys.

4) The couple passes a cemetery, and suddenly Vincent Price is heard narrating some Edgar Allen Poe-like tale that wakes the dead. Grizzly ghouls from every tomb climb up from their six feet under slumber, and before long Michael and Girlfriend are surrounded by zombies circling in on them. Poor Girlfriend looks from undead face to undead face, and then enters Twist #2:

5) Michael is also a zombie. Girlfriend doesn't even scream at this realization, perhaps not that surprised, and Michael commences to lead the fellow zombies through the greatest dance routine caught on celluloid. About halfway through, Zombie Mike turns back into Michael to finish singing the last refrain of the song. We don't even see Girlfriend for a good two minutes and ten seconds.

6) We then catch up to Girlfriend running into the standard horror-film scary-house, where Michael (transformed back into Zombie Mike) and company chase after her, busting through the windows and walls and floorboards and doors to get at her. She screams again and again, and just as Zombie Mike reaches out to get her, she opens her eyes to discover Twist #3:

7) She's in a normal home - possibly Michael's - and Michael is asking her "What's the problem?" Oh nothing, I guess. Everything's fine. It must've just been a bad dream. Or was it?

8) Twist #4: The finale - as Michael and Girlfriend head out the door arm-in-arm, Michael turns back to the camera to reveal his scary eyes (which are not the Zombie Mike eyes, but rather the original Werewolf-Michael eyes), and the picture freezes on his face as we hear Vincent Price's maniacal laughter take us to the credits.

Now, I'd never given all these gimmicky twists much thought (and most likely you're not supposed to), but there's something about Twist #4 that grabbed my attention. As Twist #3 unfolds, I just assume that Girlfriend has wicked-crazy nightmares, or maybe she's schizophrenic. But why does Michael flash us his werewolf eyes? Why doesn't he reveal the Zombie Mike look instead?

So what the hell is really going on here? Looking to the lyrics only disturbs me for modern-day reasons ("This Is Thriller, Thriller Night / 'Cause I Can Thrill You More Than Any Ghost Would Dare To Try" - how prophetic). So here's what I can figure: Girlfriend did, in fact, dream up the whole zombie sequence in some sort of schizophrenic nightmare. There were never actually any zombies. However, the movie they were watching - Thriller - was actually a flashback to Michael's father and Girlfriend's aunt, who dated briefly. This explains the obvious similarities in appearances between the two pairs. Now if you recall, Werewolf-ism is hereditary (see: Teen Wolf), so 1983-Michael - as far as 1983-Girlfriend knows upon Twist #3 - is a normal human. The final Twist is to reveal that he has inherited his father's gift/curse, and after the credits roll and the audience goes away, he's going to murder/rape/eat 1983-Girlfriend, just as his father murdered/raped/ate the aunt in the 1950s.

So basically both the 1950s and 1980s were remarkably similar in two ways: 1) they were both repressed and conservative; and 2) totally fucked up.


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Horrible Red Eye Front Page Pun o' the Day!

Introducing a new segment on middleCoast today - The Horrible Red Eye Front Page Pun o' the Day. Fellow Chicagoans are all aware of the free Tribune rag, Red Eye, a drek-filled tabloid presenting itself under the guise of "journalism". Though we're quite certain that the editors at Red Eye must have all failed journalism classes, as they regularly break simple rules of the trade, and usually on the front page at that. The most blatant disregard for intelligent writing are the front page headlines, presented more often than not as puns. Genius.

Yesterday's front page headline read: "America's Next Top Bottle" - a reference to the Nalgene bottle featured in the cover photo accompanying an article about the environmental effects of bottled water. Yes, yes, brilliant - take a serious and topical news story and draw people in by way of a reality TV show produced by the poor man's Oprah, Tyra Banks. Clever You.

So today's Horrible Red Eye Front Page Pun o' the Day:


(Don't forget the hard-hitting news on pages 7 & 16 as well.)

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Naming the Band (A How-To Guide)

While there are truly some fresh and creative band names out there, some of you struggle mightily with the all-important task of naming your band (we're looking in your general direction, Puddle of Mudd / Mudhoney). No worries, though, as we at middleCoast are here to help. Just follow one or more of these simple guidelines and you'll be opening for Mudhoney in no time.


Rule #1. "Definite Article + Plural Noun"

See: The Beatles, The Kinks, The Strokes, The Shins, The Roots

How-To: This one's by far the easiest for all you stoner rockers out there too lazy to get creative. Simply look around the room, pick out an object, and make it plural. For example, some band names to be made from mC offfices: The Chairs, The Steps, The Speakers, The Mugs, The Mints. Get it?

Warnings:
1) Be sure to utilize Google to make sure other stoner rockers haven't already come up with your new band name.
2) Make sure you're in the right room before using this trick, as The Bongs, The Ashtrays, and The Shitstains do not make for high quality band names.

Variations:
1) "Definite Article + Adjective + Plural Noun"
Taking Rule #1 to the next logical step so as to appear literate/less-stoned, add an adjective (that part of speech which describes a noun). Simple colors usually do the trick, as do any of the following words: Dirty, Flaming, or Heavy.
2) "Definite Article + Plural Noun-That-Doesn't-End-In-An-S"
See: The Who, The National, The Knife (for intermediate and advanced Rockers only).


Rule #2. "Flip & Point Method"

See: Pixies, Pretty Girls Make Graves, The Fall, Modest Mouse, Steely Dan

How To: Another relatively easy method for picking your band name is to simply open a book, flip to a random page, and blindly point to a spot on the page; then combine the combination of words already there into a tantalizing band name. Beat writers work especially well for this, as do religious works of fiction, such as The Bible.

Proof: We will now randomly flip through opening pages of our favorite pieces of literature to come up with 5 brilliant band names....
1) "Other Levels of Madness", from page 4 of On The Road
2) "Uniformed Dwarf", from page 6 of Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas
3) "The Korova Milkbar", from page 1 of A Clockwork Orange
4) "Blood Heat", from page 5 of A Brave New World
5) "The Accident Will", from page 2 of Slaughterhouse Five

Yes, it's just that simple.


Rule #3. "The Obscure-Pop-Culture-Reference"

See: At the Drive-In, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, The Futureheads, Fujiya & Miyagi, Radiohead

How To: Perhaps your band has a major influence, or at least an aspiration of an influence. Use this influence and steal obscure references at will. Similar to the Flip & Point Method, but here we assume that you have at least some passing interest in the piece of culture to which you're referring. It makes little difference, really, if the reference is to something high-brow (Radiohead is a reference to the Talking Heads song; BMRC a reference to the Marlon Brando biker gang in The Wild One) or to something low-brow (At the Drive-In take their name from the classic Poison song, Talk Dirty To Me; and yes - the Miyagi in Fujiya & Miyagi does in fact refer to the late great Pat Morita character). So think of your favorite band, song, or movie and pick out a really random portion of it that no one will catch until they're researching your backstory on Wikipedia for an overwrought blog posting.


So there you have it - if you can't come up with a killer band name now then you should just hang up the axe and go back to listening to your Puddle of Mudd CD. So good luck, and keep rawking.

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Membership Has Its Privileges

We at middleCoast are HUGE fans of KEXP, and have been donating to the listener-run radio station online for several years now. For the second year in a row, Chicago won the contest for highest-donating-city, so once again they brought the party to the Windy City. Last night was the members-only donor party at the Darkroom on Chicago Ave, and we had the esteemed privilege of finally meeting in person John Richards and Cheryl Waters, deejays extraordinaire. We were very geeked out to be speaking directly with two of the coolest cats in the biz, and they were both extremely kind. A strange thing to meet someone with whom you feel you know quite well, listening to their voices every day for the last couple of years, and know that they have no clue who you are. While we would've welcomed the chance to talk shop with these experts, we shared our gratitude and went back to our free 312 bottles. Scotland Yard Gospel Choir, Airiel, and Mason Proper each took the stage later in the night as part of the free Equalizer show.

Thanks again to John & Cheryl for bringing the party to the middleCoast, and for continually bringing great new music into our world.

And here's a taste of what they've recently turned us on to - the hilarious grooves of Flight of the Conchords, Business Time:



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Top 5 Band Names (of Actual Bands Playing in Chicago Soon)

5. Captured! By Robots - @ The Note, 10/27

4. Scary Kids Scaring Kids - @ House of Blues, 10/21

3. Genghis Tron - @ Subterranean, 10/6

2. This Is Me Smiling - @ Shubas, 10/10

1. Dirty On Purpose - @ Empty Bottle, 10/5

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The Monkeysphere

Another brilliant essay from the boys over at Cracked.com:

What Is The Monkeysphere?

You'll never look at yourself or the world around you (or monkeys) the same.

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