Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I just have one thing to say to all you pitchfork-reading rock snobs

I just have one thing to say to all you pitchfork-reading rock snobs. You think you're so fucking cool because you wrote in your blog all about how shitty Radiohead has become or how awful Beck's last album was or how disappointing At War with the Mystics is. Fuckin fuck off with your fuckin shit. Seriously. How are you gonna sit there and disrespect Radiohead when assholes like Kevin Federline are out there producing so-called music? Why are you so fucking myopic, you fucking rock snob? I mean really, that's like if your mom gave you a kickass 10-speed for Christmas, but then because she also gave you some lame-ass sweater now you don't like the sweater or the 10-speed. Fucking brat. Radiohead gave us one of the all-time greatest musical gifts in the history of the planet in the form of Kid A. And just because Hail to the Thief wasn't up to its impossible standard now Radiohead sucks? Seriously? That's the fucking logic? Fuck you. Radiohead is and always will be great BECAUSE of Kid A, not despite Kid A. After Kid A it doesn't fucking matter what else they do. They can fart in a can for 50 minutes and call it an album and it's still great. You know why? Because Kid A was THAT FUCKING GOOD. Have some damn respect.

What happened to being a fan of music? What's so wrong with just being a fan and enjoying music? Why do you have to be a critic? There are enough fucking critics out there and they're all assholes. So don't be a critic. There is nothing good about being a critic. Aren't you fucking cynical enough, you need to be critical too? Let me tell you about critics - professional critics, that is. Critics hate themselves. That's the only explanation for how they could hate everything else. So if you hate yourself, step right up and be the next critic. Otherwise, would you please shut the fuck up and listen to the music?

Music is so fucking good. Seriously. And I know there is a lot of horrendous shit out there, but good music is so fucking good. Have you heard My Morning Jacket perform Run Thru live on Okonokos? I mean, if that doesn't do anything for you then you're an asshole and you should punch yourself. Maybe I missed my time in the free lovin bullshit of the 60s, but doesn't anyone still enjoy the power of music? The sheer joy and passion that can come across in the art form? The fucking reason you started listening to music in the first place? If not, if you're too cool, too much of a hipster to remember how joyous music is, then I do feel sorry for you.

For what it's worth, I'm still an unashamed fan of music, specifically of these - the greatest bands on the planet currently making music (in no particular order) - and I only list a few because perhaps if you've forgotten how to enjoy music, listening to them will help:

My Morning Jacket


The Flaming Lips

The Roots

TV on the Radio


In the words of Jim James:
Why does my mind blow to bits every time they play that song?

It's just the way that he sings,

not the words that he says, or the band.
I'm in love with this soul, it's a meaning that I understand.



Anonymous said...

I LOVE Radiohead. Ever had a chance to see them in concert?
I'm also diggin Thom Yorke's new solo stuff. He's a genius.
Who the fuck said Radiohead was bad anyway?
They should be forced to live in the middlecoast.

OtherJason said...

What did Pitchfork do to you? Did they break your heart? While they are terribly overwrought, I do appreciate how they seldomly verbally felate some musicians... unlike a lot of other critics.

Funny realization happened today. I couldn't figure out what struck me as oddly famaliar about Lady Sovereign... then it struck me. She looks just like my Mom did when she was 20. I'm not sure what's funnier - imagining Lady Sovereign as a 51 year old mom, or imagining my Mom as a 20 year old rapper...

OtherJason said...

FYI - the term "Verbally Felate" is really high on my current list of fun things to say.

FYI2 - Hipster Bingo was too spot on.

jessie's girl said...

sorry, but you sound like a critic yourself. other than that, i don't have a clue how critical people are; i don't read music magazines because they ALL 'verbally felate' musicians, and the only people i discuss music with are the people standing next to me at a concert, stoned and rocking out. so usually the only comments i hear about the musicians of today are "Dude, they tooooooooltally rock!" So rock on.