Monday, June 18, 2007

Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

Following is a transcription of an email exchange between myself and our friend, Schrowe, that I recently stumbled upon and thought some of you may enjoy. I sure do....


----Original Message----
From: Jason S
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 9:58 AM
To: Jason H
Subject: Cereal Lover


Being that I know you’re a Cereal Lover, I just had a Cereal Epiphany I think you should hear.


Honey Nut Cheerios are f*cking Awesome! I just had my first bowl in probably 15 years, and I’m startled by their All-American Goodness and perceived wholesomeness.


Just thought I’d give you a heads up. Along with Stander, these are definitely on my “What’s Hot in September” List.


Schrizz



From: Jason H
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:03 AM
To: Jason S
Subject: RE: Cereal Lover


Dude, I got a box o HNutCheerios in my cupboard (cupboard? I don’t think I’ve ever said cupboard before.). So yes, they are fucking awesome. Along with Cap’n Crunchberries, Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles, and (newly joining the list) Cocoa Lucky Charms, they are my faves.


Dude, seriously, cereal is so fucking good. GOD I want some fucking cereal now…


Hova



From: Jason S
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:11 AM
To: Jason H
Subject: RE: Cereal Lover


Cup-Board, that’s a weird one. Yet we pronounce it as Cu-Berd….. what are we, french?!


Yeah, Cereal is the shit…. You should get one of those teeny lil’ Sky Mall fridges to store milk in, and then have a file cabinet with all your cereals in (Alphabetized, of course).


Mine go, HNC, Cocoa Puffs, Peanut Butter Crunch. Was oddly never a fan of the Pebbles Genre (Fruity or Cocoa)….. poor Fred just wanted Barney to stop messing with his shit….remember when Fred said “Enough” then straight capped Barney…. I think in the next scene Fred was with Betty in a volcano heated hot-tub….. he knew Betty was by-far the hottest on the show….digress….


Explain these Cocoa Lucky Charms to me…… are the marshmallow’s all chocolate now?


J



From: Jason H
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:25 AM
To: Jason S
Subject: RE: Cereal Lover


No no no, duder, the non-marshmallow part is chocolate. The marshes are all the same. So instead of healthy wheat/oat/whatever-the-non-marshmallow-part-is, it’s chocolate. It’s almost too good.


There are some healthy cereals that are good too. That Smart Start shit is not bad. And I always kinda liked Life or Chex or whatever. Never really into Kix, though. And I used to dig Raisin Bran, but there was always too much bran and not enough raisin, despite the 2 scoops bullshit. Corn Flakes are gross; Frosted Mini-Wheats aren’t terrible.


Never had this one, though:


















I love google image searches…


J



From: Jason S
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:30 AM
To: Jason H
Subject: RE: Cereal Lover


Ahhhhhhhhhhhh blue balls.


I heard a trick to cure ‘em that I used a few times in High School. So when the balls get blue….. and now that you’re married you’ll never have to do this exercise, but there is a simple trick that cures it pretty fast.


You go up behind a parked car, bend at the knees, and try to pick up the back of the car….. basically you’re trying to initiate a hernia…. By doing this you get the blood flowing down there. And voila, blue balls no more.


I wrote a big article about this, in Nerd-linger Quarterly Magazine, the August Virgin-4-Life issue.



Schrizza



From: Jason H
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:41 AM
To: Jason S
Subject: RE: Cereal Lover


I had a subscription to Nerdlinger Quarterly. I was Editor-in-Chief for most of my freshman year.


Holla,

Hova


2 comments:

Jennifer said...

That was awesome. Thanks for sharing!

OtherJennifer said...

Excellent. I have several e-mail exchanges with him that might be fun to share....I love the randomness.