Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Best of 2007, Part IX

Señor Juevos chimes in now with our next installment of the Best (and/or Worst) Lists of 2007 (see I; II; III; IV; V; VI; VII; VIII) with:

The Top 5 Hottest Kicks on the Market in 2007

1. New Balance 574's.

Yeah, that's right - Quad Kings on my feet, bitch. What? Enough said.

2. Sanuk Kerouac.

These are not shoes, ladies and gents. They are pillows for your feet. Sanuk has produced the most comfortable and stylish sandals known to man. Going to the beach? Wear them. Sporting raggedy jeans and a tee shirt? Wear them. Feeling a lil' douche-baggy and decide to go out in a collared shirt with a nice pair of jeans? Wear them. Point is, just wear them.

3. Air Jordan IV's.

Legally, can you even have a ‘Hottest kicks of 07’ or ANY other year and not have the Air Jordan IV’s on them? If you answered yes, you probably grew up in North Korea and weren’t able to sneak your way north to China to watch these bitches be produced. These are arguably the wickedest hoops kicks ever. These are the original colors…if you don’t know the other colors they made, slap yourself and do some research. These shoes aren’t just sex for your eyeballs. The first man to lace them up DOMINATED the world in everything from athletics to marketing to just pure fucking awesomeness. He doesn’t even need a first name in 99% of the world. Jordan.

4. Greedy Genius - PRVLG Collection.

Greedy Genius has just come up on the scene. Founded around three years ago by four gents from different parts of the world, their style fuses a little classic with a grimy, rebellious look. The collection looks like they could be found on the feet of Rza, Gza, Ghostface, and the rest of the Wu-Tang Clan. I wouldn't be surprised if ODB is sporting these in his casket:

Having said that, though, these kicks are definitely eye-catchers and only for gents who are brave, confident, and can truly pull off a rare, yet stylish, pair of kicks.

5. The "Crescent-Moon-I'm-Now-6'2"-Fuck-Me Boots". Had to throw one in for the ladies:

Ha Ha Ha. Laugh all you want. These little dandies are straight from the Far East. As we all know, it is actually 2036 in Japan. Here in the states, you can look for these in the fall of 2053. Chances are your granddaughter or drag/tranny grandson will be sporting these at some point in their life.

***NOTE: Before purchasing, there will be an additional charge of 125¥ for the tiny Asian man who lives inside the sole of the shoe. He is responsible for helping you get these on and off.


1 comment:

JenniferToo said...

Damn hilarious.

Funny, I haven't seen those crescent boots at Macy's...